feoktistaeexiz: What If You're "Ready" ... and He's NOT?

By GalTimer Michelle Strickland

After a couple of years of dating, I thought for sure that next Christmas was IT, the day he would propose. We had already moved in together, we even discussed marriage, so what was left? Well, the ring! Christmas came, we had all finished opening up our presents and then he said to me, "Oh wait! There is one more gift hiding". Could it be? Nope!

Related: 5 Signs He Doesn't Love You

Don't get me wrong; it was a beautiful necklace, however, not the piece of jewelry that would bring us to the next level of our relationship. So, I was a bit disappointed, but thought of it as no big deal... we still loved each other and that's all that mattered. Right? Or am I just settling?

What was so special about him that I felt that getting a ring was really no big deal? (no big deal....to him or to me?) Every girl dreams about their wedding day, so why can't I have it? No, I really do love him. He is worth the wait....I think.

So, a few years later, I received an unexpected surprise. Nope, STILL not a ring. A positive pregnancy test. I told my husband (boyfriend at the time) that I didn't want to get married just because I was pregnant. Plus, I didn't want to have a basketball belly walking down the aisle. So, we continued the dating life.

A little over a year later, he did it....he proposed! He involved our son and everything. It was really cute. It felt like forever for our wedding day to come (6 1/2yrs!). I'll admit that, at times throughout the years, I felt like maybe it was not going to go anywhere so I should just move on and find somebody who was 'ready' like me. But that only seemed unfair to him. Maybe he would want to get married at some point but just wasn't ready. Was that a reason to bail just because I had a timeline?

Related: Popping "The Question": How Long Is Too Long to Wait?

Now on the other hand, my sister has been dating her boyfriend actually even LONGER than my husband and I did (almost 7 years). I can tell she is getting impatient and disappointed every year when a special occasion arrives or she has a "feeling" only to be let down. I feel for her because she is at the point where she pretty much has her whole wedding planned out; she just needs her groom!

I think she is in the same position as I was... she DOES love him but feels she is more ready than he is. He is not showing much interest or any signs of an upcoming engagement, unless he has something up his sleeve and is doing a good job throwing her off track. She doesn't know what to do.

She does admit sometimes she would be scared to go back into the dating world. Is that a way for her to admit she is settling? I'm sure they will end up married and happy sooner or later, I just hope for her sake it's not later.

Is getting married really overrated? Is it all that everybody makes it out to be? So far, in my experience, yes. I am happy where I am today and definitely glad we finally took the "plunge". Is marriage for everyone? How long is too long to be in a relationship without a sign of a proposal? When is the time to say enough is enough and kick 'em to the curb?

feoktistaeexiz

vendredi 15 juillet 2011

What If You're "Ready" ... and He's NOT?

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