mercredi 2 février 2011

Parenting Guru: My Tiny Valentine

To my little Valentine:

I wanted to write the story about how you are my special Valentine.  After the birth of your second sister I wasn't sure if I'd ever have any more children.  I had a traumatic labor with your sister "S".  I was in labor for over 18 hours and by the time she was delivered I was totally exhausted.  Daddy left me in the delivery room after about two hours to check on your oldest sister old who was being watched at home by Grandma. Daddy expected by the time he returned that I'd be in my maternity room.

He was shocked to find out that I was still in the delivery room six hours later because my bleeding had not stopped.  In total, I was bleeding for nine hours, my uterus just would not contract as it should have after the delivery. I was completely wasted and they told him either I'd need a transfusion or they would have to perform a hysterectomy.  Daddy hesitated.  What would happen if the blood transfusion had issues?  Or the decision to have a hysterectomy would mean no more biological children.  I was beginning to hallucinate, so they had to act fast.  They finally administered one last drug to see if that would stop the bleeding.  Miraculously it did.  It was then that they told us that meanwhile, while I was going through all of this, our newborn baby "S" was in the NICU, Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.  While they were so busy with me, they didn't want to alarm us with yet another piece of bad news.  Fortunately, she would be fine.

Two years after that we talked to my Ob-Gyn to determine if I could or should have any more children.  He said the experience I had was not an indicator that I would have the same issue.  Each labor is different, he explained.  Daddy and I wanted to have at least one more child.  So before we knew it, and with the "go ahead" from my doctor, I was pregnant with our third.

About ten weeks after I learned I was pregnant I went in for a routine check-up.  Daddy normally came with me, but this time he had an important meeting.  I told him I would be fine going alone.  Of course that is when the unexpected happened.  During the routine ultrasound my doctor gently put his hand on my knee and looked me straight in the eye and said, "I'm sorry, we don't detect a heart beat."  I was floored.  I never expected to hear him say that.  I was calm, told him I'd be OK, and got dressed. When I got into my car I called Daddy and told him the news.  He was stunned.  I just broke down and bawled, it really hit hard.  Daddy rushed out of his meeting and came by my side.  He found me in the parking lot of the clinic and we just hugged.  I did not go back to work, I went home and told my manager what just happened.  It was four days before Christmas. 

Your sisters kept my spirits up during this time.  The holidays turned out to be full of joy and blessings.  I had so much to be thankful for.  One of which was I learned how much I truly wanted to have another baby.  When we got the green light again from my doctor, we tried again.  I am so lucky because I learned I was pregnant again and our due date was projected to be February 19th. 

Turns out, I went into labor on Friday the 13th.  Being a more "experienced" mom, I was able to breath and do my Lamaze exercises.  No way did Daddy want a baby born on Friday the 13th after all we'd been through.  All my other deliveries were natural.  So I continued my relaxation techniques and Friday the 13th passed and it was early morning on Valentine's Day that we left for the hospital.  At exactly 8:30 AM, you, our little Valentine was born, and my delivery went off without any hitches. 

To this day, you are our little Valentine.  The trauma I experienced with my second delivery and then my miscarriage has given me a special place in my heart for my Valentine baby.  The healthy birth of any baby is a miracle.  For me, this was the happiest ending I could ever have imagined.  It was the beautiful start to a family of five that Daddy and I desired.  My little Valentine's Photo.

When Tina isn't busy eating chocolate's, she's taking photos with her business partner.  You can follow along on their trials and tribulations on Moms Who Click and Parent Grapevine.  Tina is also a Yahoo! Shine Parenting Guru.

maternity room, little valentine, neonatal intensive care, blood transfusion, intensive care unit, biological children, delivery room, neonatal intensive care unit, hysterectomy, newborn baby, six hours, ob gyn, uterus, bad news, grandma, nbsp

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